Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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