he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Green mimosas i think yes
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
