Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
