i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
