So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
