Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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