I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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