I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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