I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
