We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
