I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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