Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
