The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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