But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
