You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
