CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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