He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize