first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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