how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
