I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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