Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
