STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
