if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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