You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
please come you make the beer taste better
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
