why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
