So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
