He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
