I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
