It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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