Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
