Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
