well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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