Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm getting married
To pizza
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
