I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i think my mom watched the whole time
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
