The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
