he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize