I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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