sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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