Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
