that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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