Im at strip club and am horny
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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