We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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