But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
