Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize