he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
