my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
