Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
