We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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