totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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