Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
