first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
