In America we eat man semen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
