I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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