The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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