My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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