i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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