omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
