He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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