just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
