yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
