Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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