508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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