perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
