we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
