don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
