Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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