I like my sex mixed with concussions.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
