Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My dick has a subreddit
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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